Content warning: This page involves descriptions and discussion of the experiences and impacts of domestic and family violence. Some survivors might find its content troubling.

In Australia domestic and family violence is defined as a pattern of behaviour where one person seeks to gain and maintain power and control over another. The use of coercive control to threaten, isolate, manipulate, and control another person’s life is often central to the behaviour. 

Domestic and family violence is one of the most widespread violations against human rights worldwide and it distorts loving relationships and damages the image of God in those who are harmed. The data in Australia shows that domestic and family violence  is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women and is the result of gendered power imbalances in society and relationships. 

Domestic violence can be hard to recognise because it often happens in private and usually escalates gradually. It can occur in many types of relationships, including:

  • Marriage or de facto partnerships
  • Dating relationships
  • Separated or divorced couples
  • Parent–child relationships
  • Relationships involving older people or caregiving
  • LGBTQIA+ relationships

How Coercive Control Works

Domestic violence is not a single incident, but an ongoing pattern of control. Coercive control is often established long before any physical violence occurs, through:

  • Fear
  • Isolation
  • Manipulation
  • Intimidation

In heterosexual relationships, this pattern is most often perpetrated by men against women.

Coercive control is reinforced by cultural messages that:

  • Normalise domination
  • Excuse violence
  • Sustain gender inequality

Different from Ordinary Conflict

It is important to distinguish domestic violence from normal relationship conflict:

  • Normal conflict: disagreements between equals where both people feel safe and respected

  • Domestic violence: one person uses intimidation, manipulation, threats, isolation, or abuse to dominate the other

Over time, this sustained pattern erodes a person’s freedom, safety, and sense of self.

Domestic and family violence takes many forms. It is not limited to physical assault. Learn more about how domestic and family violence manifests and the tactics perpetrators use →